Cutting Toxic Ties


Life is messy. Filled with opinions, debates, politics, viewpoints, demands, values, faiths, denominations, which health-nut bandwagon should I be on!? It’s also filled with relationships…

…and after I’m gone, once I finally leave, you will be left alone to the wolves and the thieves… — I Thirst, City and Colour

This past week, I had a tough decision to make — let a beloved friend go, or continue allowing her space to create stress in my life. Over the past several years, I’ve watched my friend self-sabotage, point fingers, remain in abusive relationships for the sake of so-called ‘love’, and the list continues. I can’t do that any longer. I had to admit to myself that the best thing I could do to help her was to let her go. No fanfare. No goodbye. No, “Yeah, so we can’t be friends, but thanks for the memories.” Clean cut. Fresh wounds. Flesh wounds.

If you’re out there, and you’re dealing with a toxic relationship, let me encourage you… walk away. Know that clean cut will heal quickly. Just because you leave, doesn’t mean you lose those memories, unless they were truly useless. People enter and exit our lives all the time. Look around you; take note. Broaden your view. Relationships are things which once began that sometimes must end. Never undervalue the span of time in between.

Still struggling? Ask yourself what you’ve been putting off while taking care of whomever. Writing is my passion, yet I learned this relationship had taken much of my joy in writing. That may seem odd, but when I write, I prefer it soothe rather than mirror my anger and stress in that moment. I have plenty of negative memories to look back on without reading my nightmare to myself in years to come.  Letting go un-dammed the flood of words I’d locked up for awhile.

Stop drowning in drama. Find your release. You will break a little — it’s just another etching in the design of you.